But If Not

This passed year, Brother Goss gave us an amazing seminary lesson on "But if not..." and right now, I wish that he could give me that lesson again.  Today and yesterday were two very hard days.  No.
They were two very very very disappointing, hard days. 

I have been waiting for weeks and weeks for news about this scholarship that I applied for in the winter from the company my dad works for and I was really really counting on it. (bad. never count on a scholarship--lesson learned.) So I checked the mail yesterday and finally got the letter.  It was a small envelope..and I knew right away and started crying. haha seems kind of lame to think about now, but at the moment I was very disappointed.  I am still disappointed but this is where "but if not" comes into play. For example, "Please allow me to get this scholarship, but if not, please allow another way for me to pay for college."  I had been praying for this scholarship for quite sometime but the Lord always knows the big picture so I'm still learning to trust that He knows exactly what needs to happen and if not getting that scholarship was the plan because something else is meant to happen, then so be it!  Maybe I will just have to work my butt off even more than I am now!

THEN! Today was registration for BYUidaho at 6am but I was on my way to work so my mommy was so nice to do it for me.  I needed to take this Bio class (anatomy/physiology) and I got it! But it is online.  (Please help me get into this bio class, but if not, allow another way for me to take this course"...Answer: online! I better be able to handle it. haha I wasn't able to get into a math class or an english class, so as of now, I am taking Bio(anatomy/physiology), Psychology, Foundations of science, Medical Terminalogy Online, Book of Mormon, and American Foundations.  I just really, really want to get into the nursing program and right now I am scared I won't be able to! yikes... I hope I get into nursing, but if not, something else will find me or I'll find it.  However, one fantastic thing about my schedule (so far) is that I don't have classes on mondays and I only have one class on Wednesdays and one on Fridays. and everything else is either online or on Tuesdays and Thursdays:)

I really am excited and I didn't mean for this blog post to become a whiny mess, but I am trying to be positive and keep in mind that the Lord has a plan for me and it may not always be what I think I want.  And that's okay :) because whatever the plan is, it's going to be great. 

(Also!! I saw megan tonight!!! She is leaving for AFY tomorrow morning with Caylee so she flew back here to Colorado so she and Caylee could travel together.  So I saw her and holy dang! She is so tan even from just being in Arizona for like a couple of weeks!! She is looking great as ever! I love her so much and I can't wait to see her and the rest of my family in July :) That'll be the best week ever!!)    

Have I Done Any Good?

Happy Father's Day Daddy!!! I have the best dad ever!! I love you so much.  You are such a wonderful example to me. You are seriously one of my pillars; always keeping me up :) Thank you for all of your kindness, help, and support through the years. Also thank you for all of the cutie-pie postcards of rattlesnakes. haha I miss you so much and I love you dearly. 

Anyways!! I have been thinking a lot lately about measuring up and doing all that I can to be the best that I can be.  Sometimes I feel like my life is so busy that sometimes--okay all the time, I need to be slowing down, if not physically, mentally!  I need to be opening up my eyes and thinking of others and doing what I can to make their day better.  It is so critical that I stop being so selfish and serve others instead of only always thinking about myself and my own gain. I realized that this week and so throughout the week I have been trying my hardest to be nicer and more personal with the people that I come in contact with at work and even in the grocery store! It is so much more fun to be in a happy mood and to be nicer to people I don't even know, and it is making me a ton happier.  Service is not only a blessing to the people you are serving, but also for yourself (which is a huge plus in a so not selfish way).  I am happier when I am making other people happier, even if this means going out of my way.  Check out this sweet video my daddy showed me :)      

"Wake up! and do something more than dream of your mansion above. 

Doing good is a pleasure; a joy beyond measure a blessing of duty and love."  

At church today we studied Charity, specifially,

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeekth not her own, and is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, and endureth all things.  Wherefore my beloved brothren, if ye have not charity ye are nothing..." Moroni 7:45/46 

This really relates to what I have been thinking about lately about doing good and being the best I can be and making others happy.  I love love love this verse and this video, and  I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father and for sending his son Jesus Christ to set a perfect example here on this earth, to teach us all how to love with charity, the pure love of Christ, and I am thankful for the opportunity to work with people all day and the many opportunities I have a day to make others smile.             

"The Spirit of Adventure"

This week I have been blessed with the opportunity for many, many adventures.  While living with Stacey for the summer you would think that we would have all of this time to hang out and go on adventures and spend all of this time together.  However, here is the question.  What time?! We are both so busy that we only see each other for a couple of hours. BUT! being in the "spirit of adventure," I decided to take Saturday off to play and let me tell you something! I will always remember this. :)

Tandem Bikes!!! Check that off the bucket list!

We seriously couldn't even walk the bike when we frist got it.

   Brother Allred is helping us out a TON

  

By Ourselves!!!

Mastered!! Wooot Wooot

We also went bowling!! I love bowling. 

OH!! An we made crayon Art:) we glued crayons to a canvas and blow dried them and it turned out super awesome!!  AND! We went to the mall and got $1 massages from those chairs and got TOMS!. Oh my goodness gracious! I love them!! Most comfortable shoes ever!! Can't wait to get  another pair..after I save up and meet another goal for my college fund:) teehee

Massage chairs! Glad for the experience, but I squeeled the whole time because I was so ticklish.

This is me and my crappy parking job at the bank.  The constructions guys about 50 feet away were all staring at it. haha

I got asked out on a date for Saturday night too! Matt and I and some friends went to Brunswick to play Laser Tag.  It was super duper fun, but I came in last. haha Typical. I need more practice :) Then we went over to Jake's house and went swimming in his super cool indoor pool and built our own fire to roast Marshmallows--okay the boys built our fire, BUT I did the gathering of the baby sticks--okay I helped with the gathering of the baby sticks.  I'll give the guys the credit. :) I would have put pictures of this up, but I didn't have a camera :( Oh well. What an adventure of a day! 

Our Adventure day became Adventure weekend, we decided.  We had a sleepover on friday night and watched a movie. You would think that having a sleepover might be a little unexciting because me and Stacey  live together anyway, but it was a lot of fun and I am so glad we got to do it.  (then saturday was our tamdem/bowling/shopping/crayon/date day) Then on Sunday Stacey and I drove to Denver to pick up some friends for dinner and games and stuff. It was a blast!! I have never played more fun games of twister in my entire life!  we also played a game of "Keys," where one person holds keys and chooses someone to mold them touching the person somehow.  Then that person chooses someone else to mold them, etc. Then whenever the key holder feels like it, he drops they keys and everyine has to run back to the base.. that game was so fun but got quite awkward at some moments :) It happens haha.  

Twister!!!

The Keys Game!!

I am looking forward to many more adventures to come.  

Beauty in a Danger

Look at these clouds! Oh my gosh.  It amazes me how beautiful  these storm clouds are, and that they still scare me! There are some storm warnings going on.  Some warning of tornadoes, and others of flash floods.  Either way...Gorgeous Gorgeous Gorgeous. Scary Scary Scary. Take a look :)

Paying, Playing, and Pondering

The first few weeks of a new job are always overwhelming.  Let me tell you somethin'. Holy COW.  It has stressed me out so much and has kept me so so busy that I am losing a bunch of weight and sleep over it. I need to fatten up :)   So, I am no longer making donuts. (I think that they realized that I sucked at it). So...I am back on register which I don't mind so much. At first it was totally stressing me out because I was really slow and for few days we got this massive group of Indian people who were super super impatient and would either shove money in my face or expect me to help them in like 5 seconds, or they would use credit cards, and the majority of credit cards come from Indian people; I have no idea why.  I hate it when people do that,  because then at the end of the day I have to add up all of the card receipts and for some reason that is a LOT harder for me to do than just counting all of the money in my drawer.  Anyways, I am getting used to the register and just have to keep telling myself to take it slow and be patient and to not care if they are in a hurry, because it is more important for me to do a good job and make them happy with the right change, than to please them with speed, but do the job wrong.

 
I also cleaned my first public restroom the other day. DROSS!! We were about to head down the mounatin and Scott, one of the managers said we couldn't go down until the women's room was cleaned and everyone just stared and him like,"Heck no techno I am NOT cleaning that." So I spoke up and volunteered.  Everyone learned a lesson that day because guess what? Scott entered me into an employee drawing for $100 for volenteering. Score!

On Wedensday I think it was, I met a 90 year old woman who came up to the peak.  She was so cute! She was fiddling through her little coin purse and trying to find exact amounts and her hands were shaking so badly and she just couldnt do it alone, so I offerred to help her and she was just so sweet.  She said, "I am so so sorry I am just moving so slow. I am 90 years old!" It just made me think about how long she has lived and how much life I still have to live.  I wonder how much she's learned and what she has been through.  And it made me think about how someday I will be that old and I won't be able to do everything on my own anymore and I will have to depend on other people regularly, even strangers in a store that I would hope are honest people, to help me through my day. But at the same time I will have a "life time o' knowledge!" It's a bitter sweet thought. 

Play! Play! Play!! I went on a date to go see the Avengers on tuesday!! It was so so so good! I loved it even though I hadn't seen the super hero movies really before.  I had a wonderful time at the movies and then LuLu's. I LOVE LuLu's. On friday night I went on another super fun date.  We went to Ikea and pretend shopped and played around in different rooms. Then we went to Barns and Nobles which was cool. Holy Cow they have a lot of books!! I have never really gone to one before. Not that I can remember anyways.  We went to the mall and ate some super yummy icecream and sat on a park bench and talked for like, two hours! It was a ton of fun and I am so glad I had a day to play.   And then another day to play!! Stacey and I went to Wallyworld last night and just had our own little adventures getting groceries and playing around with kid toys and super hero masks.  Super fun :)     

I said goodbye to Megan and it was so sad.  We hadn't seen eachother for about a week and she threw a goodbye party at the park so I stopped by after work. Once we saw eachother, we ran to eachother and gave each other huge hugs.  We were both on the verge of tears! It has never really been like that between us, but I have missed her a lot and I regret all of the stupid times we fought over little nothings. We even text now and talk about our days and stuff which I like a lot:) I am glad that we are better friends, but I am sad that it took separation to realize how serioulsy close we can be, and I hope that we will become even closer because I love her so much.  I also miss Bryson a TON and Camilla and Caleb and my MOMMY!!!! And Daddy :) I basically miss my family a LOT.    

I am learning to pay now so that I can play sometimes later, and I am finding myself pondering the little things all the time!