But If Not

This passed year, Brother Goss gave us an amazing seminary lesson on "But if not..." and right now, I wish that he could give me that lesson again.  Today and yesterday were two very hard days.  No.
They were two very very very disappointing, hard days. 

I have been waiting for weeks and weeks for news about this scholarship that I applied for in the winter from the company my dad works for and I was really really counting on it. (bad. never count on a scholarship--lesson learned.) So I checked the mail yesterday and finally got the letter.  It was a small envelope..and I knew right away and started crying. haha seems kind of lame to think about now, but at the moment I was very disappointed.  I am still disappointed but this is where "but if not" comes into play. For example, "Please allow me to get this scholarship, but if not, please allow another way for me to pay for college."  I had been praying for this scholarship for quite sometime but the Lord always knows the big picture so I'm still learning to trust that He knows exactly what needs to happen and if not getting that scholarship was the plan because something else is meant to happen, then so be it!  Maybe I will just have to work my butt off even more than I am now!

THEN! Today was registration for BYUidaho at 6am but I was on my way to work so my mommy was so nice to do it for me.  I needed to take this Bio class (anatomy/physiology) and I got it! But it is online.  (Please help me get into this bio class, but if not, allow another way for me to take this course"...Answer: online! I better be able to handle it. haha I wasn't able to get into a math class or an english class, so as of now, I am taking Bio(anatomy/physiology), Psychology, Foundations of science, Medical Terminalogy Online, Book of Mormon, and American Foundations.  I just really, really want to get into the nursing program and right now I am scared I won't be able to! yikes... I hope I get into nursing, but if not, something else will find me or I'll find it.  However, one fantastic thing about my schedule (so far) is that I don't have classes on mondays and I only have one class on Wednesdays and one on Fridays. and everything else is either online or on Tuesdays and Thursdays:)

I really am excited and I didn't mean for this blog post to become a whiny mess, but I am trying to be positive and keep in mind that the Lord has a plan for me and it may not always be what I think I want.  And that's okay :) because whatever the plan is, it's going to be great. 

(Also!! I saw megan tonight!!! She is leaving for AFY tomorrow morning with Caylee so she flew back here to Colorado so she and Caylee could travel together.  So I saw her and holy dang! She is so tan even from just being in Arizona for like a couple of weeks!! She is looking great as ever! I love her so much and I can't wait to see her and the rest of my family in July :) That'll be the best week ever!!)